Lots of sand

My good friend gave us a half a yard of sand. Sooo...like any good parent Ryan dropped everything and made a sand box (quit his job, bishopric-that's why he's still wearing his office shirt to do his real full time job). Ezra was very useful at scooping the dirt out into position. We mortgaged the house, sold everything to make the nicest sand box on the block (granted it is the only one on the block). It would've been cheaper to have bought a cheap plastic already made one but Ryan's an architect. He built it.

Ryan used up some materials he got for free from an over stock warehouse (the advantage of being the part owner of a design build firm). Normally this attractive plastic sits decoratively in our garage taking up the length of a car. It seems a shame to not use this $995. priced sheet on something a little more exotic but it's out of the garage (and in fact we still have it's twin occupying the adjoining space). And it does make a beautiful, rain resistant cover (and bottom if they ever dig that far).

If that wasn't enough sand we had another day of sunshine so we ran to the beach. True the Washington beaches are more rock than sand but we found a small patch of not-to-rocky comfort. And after all boys can make use of water and earth of any kind.

We went with Ezra's friend Jameson. Between the two of them (and perhaps a small contribution from both of their moms) we had enough sand to add a nice new layer to the sand box. Unfortunately it the sand mostly got as far as the car :) And yet we love and always go back for more whenever we get the chance.

switching our adoption routes

Nothing says sadness like the memory or "The Pit of Despair" in a whispery raspy voice (from The Princess Bride).

A very slight possibility of a baby slipped away. I probably shouldn't write for every failed attempt but this one felt a little different. I've slowly felt myself losing hope of creating our family through self promotion. I've never been very good at it. It makes me feel like a politician or a phony. We can never really give a full picture of who we really are on a few lines here and there. I've had ambitions of creating a youtube movie about us but our computer and the technology in general make me feel a little frustrated. It's hard enough to prove, according to government/agency standards (through background checks, references, mountains of paperwork, required training) that we can be good parents. We need to be the superstars everyone wants to place their child with. Well, I hate to confess this but despite all the attempts at putting on our best self trying to wine, dine and court every possible birth family out there, we're not superstars. Perhaps with every failed attempt we feel even less super. There are times it's just too hard on my ego.

So having said that, we haven't lost all hope of building our family. But we're now leaning more towards the foster-to-adopt route. I must say, I do feel pretty awesome filling out the paper work. They ask questions like how many marriages/significant relationships have we had, do you or anyone in your family have a history of domestic violence, abuse, mental health, etc. It feels great to say I've only had one marriage (and it was the only significant relationship we ever had). There is no abuse, violence, mental health issues. I'm back to feeling like a superstar and yet I'm not being a phony.

After complaining for several weeks over the loss of our camera card a friend of mine pointed out that we could buy a new one. oooh...I feel somehow empowered and yet sheepish. I'm already acting like a grandma falling behind in how to use technology. I have a hard time even posting these pictures. One can buy camera cards? I didn't take any exciting pictures just pictures for the sake of having the use of a camera again. One of Ezra with Ryan and the next one is of a fortress we built of some empty boxes from some new furniture. I'm focusing the picture on Ezra because the fortress is nothing to brag about. It's just big.

On the adoption front I went to an FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) meeting last night and

I learned ....

...that this Saturday is Birthmother day. I'm embarrassed I didn't even know there was such a thing. oops! We do have a couple days notice. We'll be sure to call Randy (our dear birthmother).

...We'll be joining our FSA in the 4th of July Parade in Tumwater spreading a positive image of adoption. Which should be fun, I just hope Ezra can make it through the whole parade. I imagine we'll have a variety of different methods to carry him. And start practicing 5 mile hikes now :) All are welcome to come and see how we hold up. (I may use Ezra as an excuse to stop and rest).

...I'll be leading our zone activities. Okay the this one I knew about but I haven't done anything about it. Now I'm re-reminded that I need to plan stuff to get more people in our adoptive community together. That is, I need to plan fun stuff. I think it will be fun...I just hope this isn't too ambitious.