Ezra blowing GAK

Ezra's therapist gave us a recipe for this really cool substance called Gak.  It feels like play slime my brother used to have when we were kids but you can blow it into bubbles, smash and stretch it.  It doesn't mold like play dough but it is it's own unique creation.  We created it at the hospital, where we had to hang out for several days and it kept Ezra and several other kids entertained for days on end.  Here is the recipe:

Gak

-In a lg (gallon) ziplock bad mix together 1 T Boraxo and I cup warm water.  Mix until sudsay

-In another lg (gallon) ziplock bag mix 1 cup of school glue with 1 cup of warm water

-Combine the mixed bag of boraxo with the mixed bag of glue and add food coloring (we didn't have any with us at the hospital so ours remained white).  Continue mixing until gak consistency is reached 

-Add rubber tubing or straws to blow bubbles in it for extra oral motor fun.

Btw, Boraxo is not the same as Borax.  Boraxo is a hand soap.  It's in a cylinder shaped container on the bottom shelf of the hand soap area in Fred Meyer.  It cost only a little over a dollar.  And the Gak will give you lots of entertaining fun.

Now this is not an adoption entry-as we are not currently looking for another child but just to tie this into adoption-we were at the hospital because Ezra's birth grandfather was there.  It was a very sad event, made a little sweeter by visiting so many loved ones and having so much play time.  

Ezra is seen here with his birth mom Randy and her boyfriend Justin.  

Yes, the Gak kept them entertained too

Additions to the family

Well, out of no where I posted the last entry after an absence of about 8 months. The reason being that we had our world turned a little upside down...in a good way...but it doesn't change that it was stressful. We took on 2 new foster kids Miles and Zayla. They are adorable 10 month apart siblings and boy, did they keep us busy. 17 month old Miles is a busy boy with no sense of self preservation. 7 month old Zayla (it's Kayla with a "Z") was a very mild, sweet tempered girl...who woke up the house hold at 4 am, 5 am and finally we gave in and got her out of bed at 6am. And usually a few more tossing squeals in the night. Then our formerly perfect only child became a biting, scratching till he drew blood, kicking, pooping and rubbing it into the carpet older role model to the new youngins. It was quite the ordeal. I'm not sure how we survived in our 752 sq ft house-other than we had a lot of help from friends, family and blessings from above.

And then after 3 months of hard work we lost our little girl Zayla. She has a different birth father than Miles and he stepped up. We were prepared to hate this smuck who never was there for Zayla before but we found that we really liked him. He was clean cut, kind, had intelligent questions to ask about how to care for her and he just looks so much like Zayla. Strangely, I found that our previously failed adoption was harder and we never even met that baby. Either our ability to handle the heartbreak was stronger or the Savior lightened our burden somehow...or maybe both.

Anyway that's our update, for those who haven't heard. We still have Miles and he's looking even more likely to work out to stay in our family.

Sumo wrestling

Ezra has recently been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder and he has to go to occupational therapy. To reinforce the therapy at home we need to do heavy work activities. I think I understand it but explaining it back somehow always eludes me but it's supposed to "decrease sensitivity to sensory input." So things like pillow fights, lifting heavy objects, shoveling. I starting thinking, "I'm seeing a lot of opportunities for chores and activities here." Then I got this swanky idea from pinterest to put Ryan's shirts on the boys and stuff them with pillows to sumo wrestle. They were too cute and funny.

4th of July (oh yeah, I guess that was last month:)

Sitting by the water to watch the air show (and eating cheetoes,

what 4th of July would be complete without them?)

Okay I know I should've put these up a month ago and I have no real excuses for not doing it sooner (other than vacations, distractions and forgetfulness). But here was our Independence Day Celebration.

I actually really love our city when it comes to the 4th. There is so much to do that's free, unique and family friendly. Our city does an air show every year. We sat by the water and watched the air acrobatics. There were some really amazing "stunt" flights.

It was hard to get a good picture but those little specs with the

white trail behind them-those are the planes

Ryan and I were pretty enthralled but Ezra got bored so we went down to play in the water-which was actually pretty fun too. We found small crabs, oysters and Ezra hauled up lots of sea weed :) And lots of boats (we saw them-Ezra didn't haul them up :)

Yes, son that's a boat too.

There was a freedom fair too, with lots of food, booths with fun junk. All of it was overpriced of course. We bought 3 corn dogs and it cost us $18. Whew! (In the corn dog's defense they were delicious).

Making the hike home (still smiling too-at least when the

camera is on)

Even though this event took place a few minutes

drive from our house it took us probably 45 minutes to get home. There was no driving in that crowd. This was no reflection on how fit we physically are. We just had to park the car...millions of miles away up a hill, with a toddler (a very cute toddler but still a toddler none the less).

Ryan, Ezra, Aaron, and Isabella sitting on my quilt

Later that night we got together with our next door neighbor Aaron and Isabella (Ezra's best friend) and walked over to the water to watch the fireworks. It was Ezra's first time staying up to watch see them. Here in Washington it doesn't get dark until 9:30 or 10 and I am a normally a stickler about bed times. But holidays are meant to be exceptions.

We sat on my quilt. I just have to point this out because-I made it. This was a huge feat for me because I don't like to sew. I started the quilt as a YW project when I was a leader in the YW presidency. It took about 2 years after the fact but I did it. (A big part of that time was spent searching for a good mentor. I was just too intimidated to do it on my own). Made from old jeans and this is the only picture I have of it (but don't look too closely or you might find some... imperfections).

We didn't get pictures of the parade or the picnics we went to (or naps we all took after walking/melting in the heat). But you get the idea! It was an incredible fun filled day!

Ezra made a sandwich

I am a proud mother of a master of culinary skills in peanut butter and jelly sandwich making! I was so pleased he was very patient and interested in trying it and and he ate it. Okay, it's a little dorky (you can go ahead and question the "little" part too) but where does a mother get to brag shamelessly about her child's accomplishments? Grandparents can only take so much :)

Visit to Yellow Stone

For the first time ever I went to Yellowstone National Park. As you can see we all loved it. Never mind the little boy who won't show his face because he was hot and over tired. It was beautiful, exciting and HOT! I keep forgetting Washington is so much cooler than the rest of ...well, the country. Or at least everywhere else we ever go to. Luckily there was a breeze but I was in constant fear of loosing my hat (as you can see by how far it is pushed over my eyebrows). If your hat blows off on the path surrounded by gysers there's no going after it.

We saw at least 3 or 4 hats that endured a similar fate.

And of course we need to visit the ever famous Old Faithful. We sat and waited about 30 minutes for it to go off (I ask you, what's not to love about sitting around waiting for water to boil?). And shortly thereafter, Ezra's good mood went off with it. Definitely worth it but we probably won't do it again until he's older and better able to appreciate it :)

Jumpin' Jack and Jill

I don't know who had more fun, me or Ezra. My friend Juliet works at a bouncy fun type of house, Jumpin' Jack and Jill. I wish I could say she got us in for free but...we did get a great coupon for our next visit and really I only had to pay for Ezra. I was only in their in a supervisory capacity (at least when the other adults were looking). It was so much fun, there were slides, video games, jumping castles, something of an obstacle course and lots of other fun games.

I didn't get a good shot of Ezra's friend but this is Kingston. We met his family at an FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) activity. It is actually really awesome to know other families that are also going the adoption route.

The aftermath...another advantage of having your friend work there, we got to watch it all come apart.

A little visit from Birth Grandma's family

So there were some people in town and they stopped in to see us-mostly Ezra-actually I always want to say that but it's just not true. And in truth we love them too.

I could not get a good picture. Ezra moves too fast. This is Ezra's birth Great Grandma. We don't see her as often but she made it to our home for a quick visit.

This is Na-na-bug. At least that what Ezra calls her. (I think her real name is Celina but she lets us all call her Na-na-bug. How are they related? Well, she's Randy's cousin. So I think that makes them...2nd cousins or cousins once removed? Anyway, she's family and we love her.

This is Na-na-bug's mom. Sister to Grandma Kolene, Clista. She made the best Mexican food at our house once. It forever changed my Mexican cooking-despite having grown up in a town 45 minutes from the Mexican border and a mom who served a Spanish speaking mission, her's was better.

And of course Grandma Kolene. Ezra's so lucky. It's not every little boy who gets 3 sets of grandparents. And they came with a lot of other family who adore Ezra too. I guess I can't blame them. We love him too.

Trade shows

Ezra and I took a road trip on the bus to hit a very special trade show to see his daddy in action. Here we are on the bus (which was supposed to only take an hour but really was 2 hours but worth it. Luckily we got a picture early on before Ezra and were a little more tired and grumpy).

Ryan and his partners had a trade show promoting the business. Here are Ryan's other 2 partners. Left is Michael, middle is incidently also named Ryan but to avoid confusion he's going by Ezra's middle name Blake. I guess you could say we named him after Ezra (although I don't think he-Blake [who is really Ryan] finds it as amusing :)

Preparing to be foster parents

We got a bunk bed to make room for foster kids. We thought we'd try it out and see it's a good route for us to adopt more kids.

Ezra loves the bed. He can hang from it, build forts, get way up high and look out the window. What is not to love about it?

Front yard landscaping

Well, I know everyone's been dying to know how our front yard looks by now. It does look a little better than after we first dug it out with the mini excavator but it's still not done. At any rate, these are the retaining walls Ryan designed. He built wire cages and filled them with rocks. A unique and less expensive way to do it. Ryan sold me on the money savings but really he went this route because he's an architect. You can't build a simple wall with the blocks they sell at the hardware store for that purpose. It must be original, a work of art, never been done before on our block. Such is the blessing and curse of being an artist.

Lots of sand

My good friend gave us a half a yard of sand. Sooo...like any good parent Ryan dropped everything and made a sand box (quit his job, bishopric-that's why he's still wearing his office shirt to do his real full time job). Ezra was very useful at scooping the dirt out into position. We mortgaged the house, sold everything to make the nicest sand box on the block (granted it is the only one on the block). It would've been cheaper to have bought a cheap plastic already made one but Ryan's an architect. He built it.

Ryan used up some materials he got for free from an over stock warehouse (the advantage of being the part owner of a design build firm). Normally this attractive plastic sits decoratively in our garage taking up the length of a car. It seems a shame to not use this $995. priced sheet on something a little more exotic but it's out of the garage (and in fact we still have it's twin occupying the adjoining space). And it does make a beautiful, rain resistant cover (and bottom if they ever dig that far).

If that wasn't enough sand we had another day of sunshine so we ran to the beach. True the Washington beaches are more rock than sand but we found a small patch of not-to-rocky comfort. And after all boys can make use of water and earth of any kind.

We went with Ezra's friend Jameson. Between the two of them (and perhaps a small contribution from both of their moms) we had enough sand to add a nice new layer to the sand box. Unfortunately it the sand mostly got as far as the car :) And yet we love and always go back for more whenever we get the chance.

switching our adoption routes

Nothing says sadness like the memory or "The Pit of Despair" in a whispery raspy voice (from The Princess Bride).

A very slight possibility of a baby slipped away. I probably shouldn't write for every failed attempt but this one felt a little different. I've slowly felt myself losing hope of creating our family through self promotion. I've never been very good at it. It makes me feel like a politician or a phony. We can never really give a full picture of who we really are on a few lines here and there. I've had ambitions of creating a youtube movie about us but our computer and the technology in general make me feel a little frustrated. It's hard enough to prove, according to government/agency standards (through background checks, references, mountains of paperwork, required training) that we can be good parents. We need to be the superstars everyone wants to place their child with. Well, I hate to confess this but despite all the attempts at putting on our best self trying to wine, dine and court every possible birth family out there, we're not superstars. Perhaps with every failed attempt we feel even less super. There are times it's just too hard on my ego.

So having said that, we haven't lost all hope of building our family. But we're now leaning more towards the foster-to-adopt route. I must say, I do feel pretty awesome filling out the paper work. They ask questions like how many marriages/significant relationships have we had, do you or anyone in your family have a history of domestic violence, abuse, mental health, etc. It feels great to say I've only had one marriage (and it was the only significant relationship we ever had). There is no abuse, violence, mental health issues. I'm back to feeling like a superstar and yet I'm not being a phony.

After complaining for several weeks over the loss of our camera card a friend of mine pointed out that we could buy a new one. oooh...I feel somehow empowered and yet sheepish. I'm already acting like a grandma falling behind in how to use technology. I have a hard time even posting these pictures. One can buy camera cards? I didn't take any exciting pictures just pictures for the sake of having the use of a camera again. One of Ezra with Ryan and the next one is of a fortress we built of some empty boxes from some new furniture. I'm focusing the picture on Ezra because the fortress is nothing to brag about. It's just big.

On the adoption front I went to an FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) meeting last night and

I learned ....

...that this Saturday is Birthmother day. I'm embarrassed I didn't even know there was such a thing. oops! We do have a couple days notice. We'll be sure to call Randy (our dear birthmother).

...We'll be joining our FSA in the 4th of July Parade in Tumwater spreading a positive image of adoption. Which should be fun, I just hope Ezra can make it through the whole parade. I imagine we'll have a variety of different methods to carry him. And start practicing 5 mile hikes now :) All are welcome to come and see how we hold up. (I may use Ezra as an excuse to stop and rest).

...I'll be leading our zone activities. Okay the this one I knew about but I haven't done anything about it. Now I'm re-reminded that I need to plan stuff to get more people in our adoptive community together. That is, I need to plan fun stuff. I think it will be fun...I just hope this isn't too ambitious.

Our Golden Gate bridge

So Washington has a "Golden Gate" bridge of their own. It's just not as swarming with tourists. But it is pretty famous (it's just that no one seems to be aware of it). If you haven't watched this video during high school or watching a National Geographic documentary here it is http://youtu.be/j-zczJXSxnw (sadly you'll have to copy and paste it onto your address bar)

Why do we care you may be asking yourself right now (especially those locals from Washington that have already heard all about it)? Because we finally decided to do the touristy thing and walk monumental family moment across it. (Pause for appropriate ooos and aaah) Yes, we decided it was high time to visit our local architecture (that was actually designed by an engineer-the filthy swine:) Here we see our little darling trying to escape as we share this beautiful family moment.

It's more amazing actually being there up close. The weather was beautiful that day...well, at least it started out that way. By the time we got out there we had some gray skies and a little bit of rain (I know it's a shock for Washington). But then we pointed the camera a different direction and the clouds seemed to clear up :)

Ezra was very cute, as usual. He and Ryan did the appropriate down elbow thrusts to let the

Mid section of the bridge. drivers know we wanted a horn honk. I always

Ezra obviously has bright sunlight shining in his eyes thought it was a privilege reserved for truck drivers but fortunately the other drivers were smarter than me.

It's hard to tell on this picture because Ezra's bent over but he's doing his best "army man" face.

Okay I loved this picture enough to make it our main blog pic. I mean, there's a blue(ish) sky here. That's exciting and worth celebrating. We don't look our greatest but this was a fun memory with all of us together!

No camera

It's killing me. Our camera card is lost. I can't take any pictures. What's a blog without pictures? Well, I guess some people can pull it off but they have superior literary abilities...(I hope literary doesn't just refer to reading-at any rate some people are much better writers-they write good stuff-I'm not one of those people).

My sister came to visit us with her husband and 6 kids and they stayed at our little 752 sq ft house. That kind of event is picture worthy. If nothing else to laugh about it after the fact. True, I did manage to put them in various locations outside our home when it was time to sleep but eating, congregating, we practically had to pile people on top of each other :) And we went to Seattle's Pacific Science Center with a Star Wars display. So many picture taking opportunities (if you managed to elbow all the other science fiction junkies out of the way-mostly my sister's family-Just Kidding!)

But I did get a friend to snap an Ezra shot I thought was too irresistible. Ezra fell asleep reading a book. Not as much of a story behind it but...it's our cute little man. What can a mama say?

Grieving your infertility

I just agreed to teach a class for Families Supporting Adoption about grieving your infertility. What does one say about grieving your infertility? "This is how one grieves?" Make it into a support group is out of the question in my mind because...well, I don't want to. The people attending can connect with each other and create a support group if they need one. For me personally, if I'm grieving I don't want to open up to a bunch of strangers unless I've decided to let them in. I don't want to be forced to.

Shall I read to them some lines I read about infertility?

Tell them they are created this way for a special purpose-for the children that will need a home.

Emphasis that they were created not "broken"

Would it be too difficult to hear that there is a birth mother out there who is grieving too, over the choices she's made and the difficult journey ahead?

Is it too soon to hear that this is likely not the end of their grieving. If they ever experience a failed adoption they will grieve their infertility all over again? They will grieve as if over the death of a child that will never be a part of their family

They may never had that large family, or have children with your husband's red hair.

One thing I think I should teach a class is to tell people what you need. Tell people if you need space, time, understanding, appropriate language concerning adoption, a hug. Well intentioned people will say some unwittingly hurtful things. Be prepared to teach others how to be sensitive to your situation.

Those are my only thoughts for now. Hopefully I can fill an hour and a half class with it.

Just back from Texas

Ezra and I went to Texas to visit my sister Debbie and her family! It was so fun. Just a trip for the fun of it. (And Ryan needed to take another test so he spent a week cramming and we were able to get out of his way while we were there).

My pictures uploads of the trip came up in an odd order. Things like this always make me feel like such a rookie. So this is the end of my trip to the beginning.

Ezra and I for went to Chicago the first time... to change planes :) I wanted to get a picture of us doing something cool in the airport but Ezra just kept running away from me. And people who were standing around waiting to help were unseen. The most helpful airline workers were those off duty, standing around with a jacket only partially concealing their staff uniform. But even those were scare in my moment of need. So I got a picture of the little man pretending not to hear my pleas to stay close. He's the one wearing the white shirt and monkey backpack

We made plans to go to a Science center and paint the town green but unfortunately Debbie's daughter Alexis took a spill on her scooter. It was pretty scary. She was in a lot of pain and we (or maybe just I) thought it was broken but it turned out just to be a sprain.

We did have some other exciting happening before the scooter incident. Alexis and I painted each others nails.

Here are our toes.

Cute, eh!?

And our fingers

This is the actual painting. We couldn't find another available photographer so Ezra actually took these 2 pictures. Not too bad his first time-except the top one you can't tell what we're doing and ...

this one cuts off Alexis's head a little.

We spent a lot of time doing soccer. Alexis is the goalie (the one holding the ball). Glad this one turned out. I just pointed the camera at the sun hoped something would show up :)

Sorry Cousin Tim, none of your soccer pictures turned out :(

Ezra and cousin Nick played soccer on the sidelines during the soccer practices.

Alexis's school allows the family to come to eat lunch with the kids at school....so we did. This is the only good picture I got with my sister Debbie.

Debbie's Texas home has a pond within walking distance, providing refuge for the local ducks and geese (and entertainment for the boys)

Even though we didn't go out much Debbie's home provided a plethora of entertainment (Heffe, would you say I have a plethora of entertainment:) Ezra is on his back in this one but this is one of the only pictures I got with cousin Tim (standing with the striped shirt in the middle).

Ezra and cousin Nick got to go to their own soccer activity. It wasn't exactly a league or a game but a pre-league soccer for the young-ins. Ezra's the one in the orange (opposed to all the other boys in orange). Orange shirt, blond hair

And of course the boys played around the house (who can resist new toys). I attended a photo seminar. It said things like get down on their level, to catch your children being themselves, just playing and being boys. I got this one

But first they couldn't resist shining for the camera.

Boys, be natural, just keep playing. Pretend I'm not here.

It's so hard to get them both not looking at the

camera. Now Nick's become my poser.

I remember the days before digital and the instant reminiscing. I would take one shot or maybe two just in case someone was blinking. Now I snap shot after shot in the hopes that there will still be a better shot out there if I keep working at it.

So those are some of the highlights. We also ate at the Cracker Barrel, watched the movie Gnomeo and Juliet and Debbie and I got massage and just over all played a lot. Ezra asks a lot about his cousin Nick and if he can come over to play. So Griffins you've been officially invited.

That invitation is open to the rest of our family as well. I forgot how much I miss them all.

We also gave the Griffin's some adoption pass along cards so they can give us another reason to come back to Texas soon. If anyone else wants a few (or a plethora) of pass along cards we'll travel to any state to get our child (and hopefully we'll get to visit someone else in the process). Let us know and we'll mail them out.