After complaining for several weeks over the loss of our camera card a friend of mine pointed out that we could buy a new one. oooh...I feel somehow empowered and yet sheepish. I'm already acting like a grandma falling behind in how to use technology. I have a hard time even posting these pictures. One can buy camera cards? I didn't take any exciting pictures just pictures for the sake of having the use of a camera again. One of Ezra with Ryan and the next one is of a fortress we built of some empty boxes from some new furniture. I'm focusing the picture on Ezra because the fortress is nothing to brag about. It's just big.

On the adoption front I went to an FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) meeting last night and

I learned ....

...that this Saturday is Birthmother day. I'm embarrassed I didn't even know there was such a thing. oops! We do have a couple days notice. We'll be sure to call Randy (our dear birthmother).

...We'll be joining our FSA in the 4th of July Parade in Tumwater spreading a positive image of adoption. Which should be fun, I just hope Ezra can make it through the whole parade. I imagine we'll have a variety of different methods to carry him. And start practicing 5 mile hikes now :) All are welcome to come and see how we hold up. (I may use Ezra as an excuse to stop and rest).

...I'll be leading our zone activities. Okay the this one I knew about but I haven't done anything about it. Now I'm re-reminded that I need to plan stuff to get more people in our adoptive community together. That is, I need to plan fun stuff. I think it will be fun...I just hope this isn't too ambitious.

Our Golden Gate bridge

So Washington has a "Golden Gate" bridge of their own. It's just not as swarming with tourists. But it is pretty famous (it's just that no one seems to be aware of it). If you haven't watched this video during high school or watching a National Geographic documentary here it is http://youtu.be/j-zczJXSxnw (sadly you'll have to copy and paste it onto your address bar)

Why do we care you may be asking yourself right now (especially those locals from Washington that have already heard all about it)? Because we finally decided to do the touristy thing and walk monumental family moment across it. (Pause for appropriate ooos and aaah) Yes, we decided it was high time to visit our local architecture (that was actually designed by an engineer-the filthy swine:) Here we see our little darling trying to escape as we share this beautiful family moment.

It's more amazing actually being there up close. The weather was beautiful that day...well, at least it started out that way. By the time we got out there we had some gray skies and a little bit of rain (I know it's a shock for Washington). But then we pointed the camera a different direction and the clouds seemed to clear up :)

Ezra was very cute, as usual. He and Ryan did the appropriate down elbow thrusts to let the

Mid section of the bridge. drivers know we wanted a horn honk. I always

Ezra obviously has bright sunlight shining in his eyes thought it was a privilege reserved for truck drivers but fortunately the other drivers were smarter than me.

It's hard to tell on this picture because Ezra's bent over but he's doing his best "army man" face.

Okay I loved this picture enough to make it our main blog pic. I mean, there's a blue(ish) sky here. That's exciting and worth celebrating. We don't look our greatest but this was a fun memory with all of us together!

No camera

It's killing me. Our camera card is lost. I can't take any pictures. What's a blog without pictures? Well, I guess some people can pull it off but they have superior literary abilities...(I hope literary doesn't just refer to reading-at any rate some people are much better writers-they write good stuff-I'm not one of those people).

My sister came to visit us with her husband and 6 kids and they stayed at our little 752 sq ft house. That kind of event is picture worthy. If nothing else to laugh about it after the fact. True, I did manage to put them in various locations outside our home when it was time to sleep but eating, congregating, we practically had to pile people on top of each other :) And we went to Seattle's Pacific Science Center with a Star Wars display. So many picture taking opportunities (if you managed to elbow all the other science fiction junkies out of the way-mostly my sister's family-Just Kidding!)

But I did get a friend to snap an Ezra shot I thought was too irresistible. Ezra fell asleep reading a book. Not as much of a story behind it but...it's our cute little man. What can a mama say?

Grieving your infertility

I just agreed to teach a class for Families Supporting Adoption about grieving your infertility. What does one say about grieving your infertility? "This is how one grieves?" Make it into a support group is out of the question in my mind because...well, I don't want to. The people attending can connect with each other and create a support group if they need one. For me personally, if I'm grieving I don't want to open up to a bunch of strangers unless I've decided to let them in. I don't want to be forced to.

Shall I read to them some lines I read about infertility?

Tell them they are created this way for a special purpose-for the children that will need a home.

Emphasis that they were created not "broken"

Would it be too difficult to hear that there is a birth mother out there who is grieving too, over the choices she's made and the difficult journey ahead?

Is it too soon to hear that this is likely not the end of their grieving. If they ever experience a failed adoption they will grieve their infertility all over again? They will grieve as if over the death of a child that will never be a part of their family

They may never had that large family, or have children with your husband's red hair.

One thing I think I should teach a class is to tell people what you need. Tell people if you need space, time, understanding, appropriate language concerning adoption, a hug. Well intentioned people will say some unwittingly hurtful things. Be prepared to teach others how to be sensitive to your situation.

Those are my only thoughts for now. Hopefully I can fill an hour and a half class with it.

Just back from Texas

Ezra and I went to Texas to visit my sister Debbie and her family! It was so fun. Just a trip for the fun of it. (And Ryan needed to take another test so he spent a week cramming and we were able to get out of his way while we were there).

My pictures uploads of the trip came up in an odd order. Things like this always make me feel like such a rookie. So this is the end of my trip to the beginning.

Ezra and I for went to Chicago the first time... to change planes :) I wanted to get a picture of us doing something cool in the airport but Ezra just kept running away from me. And people who were standing around waiting to help were unseen. The most helpful airline workers were those off duty, standing around with a jacket only partially concealing their staff uniform. But even those were scare in my moment of need. So I got a picture of the little man pretending not to hear my pleas to stay close. He's the one wearing the white shirt and monkey backpack

We made plans to go to a Science center and paint the town green but unfortunately Debbie's daughter Alexis took a spill on her scooter. It was pretty scary. She was in a lot of pain and we (or maybe just I) thought it was broken but it turned out just to be a sprain.

We did have some other exciting happening before the scooter incident. Alexis and I painted each others nails.

Here are our toes.

Cute, eh!?

And our fingers

This is the actual painting. We couldn't find another available photographer so Ezra actually took these 2 pictures. Not too bad his first time-except the top one you can't tell what we're doing and ...

this one cuts off Alexis's head a little.

We spent a lot of time doing soccer. Alexis is the goalie (the one holding the ball). Glad this one turned out. I just pointed the camera at the sun hoped something would show up :)

Sorry Cousin Tim, none of your soccer pictures turned out :(

Ezra and cousin Nick played soccer on the sidelines during the soccer practices.

Alexis's school allows the family to come to eat lunch with the kids at school....so we did. This is the only good picture I got with my sister Debbie.

Debbie's Texas home has a pond within walking distance, providing refuge for the local ducks and geese (and entertainment for the boys)

Even though we didn't go out much Debbie's home provided a plethora of entertainment (Heffe, would you say I have a plethora of entertainment:) Ezra is on his back in this one but this is one of the only pictures I got with cousin Tim (standing with the striped shirt in the middle).

Ezra and cousin Nick got to go to their own soccer activity. It wasn't exactly a league or a game but a pre-league soccer for the young-ins. Ezra's the one in the orange (opposed to all the other boys in orange). Orange shirt, blond hair

And of course the boys played around the house (who can resist new toys). I attended a photo seminar. It said things like get down on their level, to catch your children being themselves, just playing and being boys. I got this one

But first they couldn't resist shining for the camera.

Boys, be natural, just keep playing. Pretend I'm not here.

It's so hard to get them both not looking at the

camera. Now Nick's become my poser.

I remember the days before digital and the instant reminiscing. I would take one shot or maybe two just in case someone was blinking. Now I snap shot after shot in the hopes that there will still be a better shot out there if I keep working at it.

So those are some of the highlights. We also ate at the Cracker Barrel, watched the movie Gnomeo and Juliet and Debbie and I got massage and just over all played a lot. Ezra asks a lot about his cousin Nick and if he can come over to play. So Griffins you've been officially invited.

That invitation is open to the rest of our family as well. I forgot how much I miss them all.

We also gave the Griffin's some adoption pass along cards so they can give us another reason to come back to Texas soon. If anyone else wants a few (or a plethora) of pass along cards we'll travel to any state to get our child (and hopefully we'll get to visit someone else in the process). Let us know and we'll mail them out.

One failed attempt

So I tried calling an abortion clinic to ask if I could pass along adoption information. The woman told me, "No, we're not into making women feel guilty."

I reassured her it wasn't to make them feel guilty (heaven forbid that someone persuading them to save the child's life should make them feel guilty) but to know there was another option.

The woman said, "They pretty much know their options. They can have the baby, abort or [place] the baby for adoption."

I'm pretty sure I panicked at my first total rejection back pedaled and hung up. Everything I wanted to say would've completely offended her. What I should have said was something along the lines of, "Many women know they can make an adoption plan but they are not aware of the resources available to them. If they choose adoption LDS Family Services could offer counseling before and after placement, they get to choose the family, support groups with other women in their situation, help to find temporary housing or to complete their education."

Oh how I hate the rejection. I'm going to have to wait a couple weeks, 50 prayers, and just as many prep talks (telling myself, "I'M THE WOMAN," "I'M TAKING YOU TO THE MATTRESS." "I'M FIGHTING FOR BABIES") before I try that again. I would much rather be the shy type and have someone give us a baby because we're so wonderful :) Sometimes I hate growing experiences.

Adoption Language

So why is it in this world with all the polital correctness that drives us all nuts did I choose to become a strong advocate of using the correct "Adoption Terminology"? Good question, there are a few reasons

*Adoption already has such a negative image.

*Language is a powerful tool in presenting adoption either negatively or positively.

*It's my hope that it will be the beginning of people seeing adoption as the wonderful blessing that it is. To do that people should avoid terms like these:

Giving away or giving up a child for adoption Ouch! A parent gave their child away? That sounds so cold and heartless (is it any wonder people have a bad image of adoption?). Giving up a child? Again that sounds so hurtful and like the parent quit. Couldn't handles it. I cringe every time I hear that. Nothing could be further from the truth. There probably are exceptions but the overwhelming majority of birth mothers love their children immensely. "Placing a child for adoption" or "making an adoption plan" is a more appropriate and positive.

Unwanted Child Like I said before most birth mothers love their children and want them but given the circumstances in their lives they realize they cannot parent in the way they desire. For a birth mother to hear her child described as "unwanted" her sense of abandoning her child or shirking responsibility is only reinforced. And besides, boy, do people like us want that child. No child is unwanted (especially babies). A better term would be "unplaned child"

Natural or "real" parents/children So... because we adopted Ezra would that make us the "fake" parents? If by some miracle I ever did get pregnant would that make Ezra our "un natural child"? The thought burns me up. The terms "biological' or "birth parents" are much better

I hope this all makes sense. And now here is my quick list of positive and negative laguage of adoption.

Positive Language Negative Language

Find a family to parent your child Putting your child up for adoption

Child by birth Real child or Natural child

adopted person adopted child (when speaking of an adult)

decided to parent the child keeping the child

child born to umnamrried parents illegitimate child

meeting between birthparents and reunion

adopted child