Going to the Pumpkin Patch

We made some new friends at a Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) Activity. Left to Right Juliet, Kingston and Aaron-and then us. We went together to a pumpkin patch

Here's the Pumpkin we took home :) Okay, Just Kidding! We don't own a chain saw big enough to carve it. Who knew they got that big.

It took forever to get Kingston and Ezra to sit still for this pose. Asking them to smile at the same time would've been too much.

Apparently the corn maze was really growing corn. Not just that normal stuff you see in the produce section but the really cool decorative kind. After tasting it we realized there's a reason we normally eat the other kind.

They had real bowling balls and pins which we found surprisingly difficult to pry our boys away from.

Miniature Golf. You can't tell but they put shoes on the end of each "golf club". It felt a little like kicking the ball.

After taking advantage of the myriad of activities the place had available we decided the pumpkins themselves weren't really that great. We never actually bought one but we sure had fun.

It was also great to get to know another family going the adoption route. Even though their experiences are very different. Everyone's experiences with adoption are different, even the trials and blessings for another family can be different.

Some of us struggle with failing the mission of every living organism on earth-to reproduce, or pass on that red hair, or never experiencing pregnancy or giving birth, or never parenting a child that looks like you, or never fitting in with other new mothers who talk about labor, delivery and breast-feeding, and the list could go on and on...

The blessings can be different too. They hopefully will all eventually include children. Some of us are blessed with an open relationship with the birth family, a stronger relationship with your family, Heavenly Father, and of course not having to experience the pain of labor, delivery and breast-feeding :) And you get to meet other great people like you :)

No baby :( but we still have a cute little boy

Some adoption blog posts are hard to capture with a picture.

It's high time we updated everyone on our birth mom/baby situation....it didn't work out. The birth father changed his mind. I feel a little like we had a child die but we have no pictures to look back and remember no memories to cherish and thereby no pictures to post. No one wants to see pictures of us mourning the loss of this child-the unwashed dishes and sleepless parents looking frumpy.

Fortunately we still have Ezra being as cute as ever. He had a birthday and that was a good distraction for us to plan a celebration. We decorated cupcakes for his party. The cupcakes weren't much to look at but apparently they were delicious.

"King for the day"

Yesterday was Ezra's birthday. I guess I'm still feeling a little sentimental because one of the greatest presents (for me) was hearing from Randi-Ezra's birth mo.)

She said:

"Just wanted to say hi, and i love you guys sooo much, on this very special day. give ezra a big hug for me : )"

We love you too Randi!

It was a long party...like 5 hours I think! But it was very fun. We had several couples with children Ezra's age over and let them tear the place apart. We even had a HOME MADE pinata (thanks to Heidi)! It was a bright orange basket ball made of paper mache. By the way....as a tip to any of you who are wondering; It is best not to use carpenter's glue when making one of these. After all the kiddies had several swings at the thing and nothing was happening Dad finally took the broom handle and broke that thing open (but we sacrificed the broom handle in the process!)

Meeting birth mom

Yesterday we met our newest potential birth mom. She is just as the case worker said. Dark hair, dark eyes and very sweet. She seemed a little more shy than our last birth mom, Randi. Our overall feel is that she is planning on placing the baby with us but she doesn't know how she'll feel after the baby is born. So she's keeping the door open to change her mind. That is also very different from Randi, who decided she wanted to place Ezra with us and did everything she could to follow through.

Persuading her to have an open adoption isn't going to be as difficult as we thought. She wants communication but again she's leaving the door open to change her mind in case she feels differently after the baby is born. Tawnia, the case worker said she thought the meeting went very well. It was a little hard for us to tell, but overall we thought it went well too.

Ezra's birth grandma

Ezra kissing birth grandma Kolene

We sent an e-mail out to the family to tell the same story we just related about our potential birth mom. We got a reply from Ezra's birth grandma and this is what she said.

I SURE HOPE THIS IS IT. "THEY" SAY 3YRS APART IS PERFECT, AND THAT WOULD BE JUST RIGHT FOR EZRA. YOU CAN COUNT ON US FOR PRAYERS. IF THIS YOUNG LADY KNEW WHAT I KNOW, SHE WOULD CHOOSE YOU FOR SURE. WE LOVE YOU GUYS,

I'd say this is another reason we keep in touch with the birth family.

Birth mom considering us

We have an exciting adoption possibility. We have a birth mom looking at us. She's looking at another couple but leaning towards us. I feel a little like Little Orphan Annie or The Rescuers Penny when she said, "It was adoption day at the orphanage. The man and lady came and looked at me. But they choosed the little red haired girl. She
was prettier than me." Now that part of the movie tears me up. How heartbreaking that is for us but that would kill me as a child. Fortunately the red head is on my team :) Surely she'll choose us. We've been praying to have another baby within 6 months. The baby is due Sept 1. Our 6 months would end in Oct. Again this could be "the
one". We're a little nervous to go through this again and yet we learned so much the last time and didn't come out with a baby (from our almost birth mom Amanda-not Randi). Of course we'll try it again. I had just decided to be content with the blessings we had and not bemoan the children we don't have (just like when I decided to not stress about getting married-I found Ryan). Sometimes that's how Heavenly Father operates.

The baby is a boy (they think). The birth mom is white with dark hair and eyes. She's in the military and hopes for little to no openness in adoption. That's okay. We just figure that's because she doesn't know how great an open adoption can be. Just like friends that turn down the gospel without knowing much about it. I wasn't an advocate for open adoption to begin with either.

Keeping in touch with birth family

Ezra with birth uncle Nick

One of our most frequently reoccurring questions we get is why do we keep in touch with the birth family. Probably the simplest answer is that we love them. Why keep in touch with your parents? Your in-laws? Even if your spouse died you'd likely keep in touch if you liked them at all. They'll always be a part of you. The birth family will always be a part of Ezra and because Ezra is very important to us, they'll always be a part of us. I think if you follow our blog you could easily feel the same way.

The next major reason is that they love Ezra. It's easy to love anyone who loves our son, in a healthy way (we're not ready to consider teenage romantic love yet). They love us too. The placement of our son was so heart wrenching and yet joyful. We were all working together to bring about the best thing for Ezra. We grew together in such a unique situation of joy and sorrow and then comforted by the spirit. It's the kind of close relationship we don't want to break off.

Ezra swimming with Daddy and birth uncle Sage

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