Adoption Language

So why is it in this world with all the polital correctness that drives us all nuts did I choose to become a strong advocate of using the correct "Adoption Terminology"? Good question, there are a few reasons

*Adoption already has such a negative image.

*Language is a powerful tool in presenting adoption either negatively or positively.

*It's my hope that it will be the beginning of people seeing adoption as the wonderful blessing that it is. To do that people should avoid terms like these:

Giving away or giving up a child for adoption Ouch! A parent gave their child away? That sounds so cold and heartless (is it any wonder people have a bad image of adoption?). Giving up a child? Again that sounds so hurtful and like the parent quit. Couldn't handles it. I cringe every time I hear that. Nothing could be further from the truth. There probably are exceptions but the overwhelming majority of birth mothers love their children immensely. "Placing a child for adoption" or "making an adoption plan" is a more appropriate and positive.

Unwanted Child Like I said before most birth mothers love their children and want them but given the circumstances in their lives they realize they cannot parent in the way they desire. For a birth mother to hear her child described as "unwanted" her sense of abandoning her child or shirking responsibility is only reinforced. And besides, boy, do people like us want that child. No child is unwanted (especially babies). A better term would be "unplaned child"

Natural or "real" parents/children So... because we adopted Ezra would that make us the "fake" parents? If by some miracle I ever did get pregnant would that make Ezra our "un natural child"? The thought burns me up. The terms "biological' or "birth parents" are much better

I hope this all makes sense. And now here is my quick list of positive and negative laguage of adoption.

Positive Language Negative Language

Find a family to parent your child Putting your child up for adoption

Child by birth Real child or Natural child

adopted person adopted child (when speaking of an adult)

decided to parent the child keeping the child

child born to umnamrried parents illegitimate child

meeting between birthparents and reunion

adopted child